Is it okay to say I’m feeling depressed being back in the States?
I guess I’m still processing what happened in the last two weeks while I was in London and Berlin. I love Los Angeles and I know that I’m supposed to be here right now. (I promise.) But truly a huge bit of my heart is in London. It was love at first Underground ride.
First, this trip would not have been possible if it were not for all the support and encouragement from my dear friends and family. To anyone who prayed for me, financially supported me, walked me through my crazy swirling thoughts about the trip, thank you. You have forever impacted me.
So please extend me heaps of grace as I stream-of-consciousness-out this post with things I’ve learned and have yet to learn. I know that God is at work and He cares for this world. The old beautiful churches and the 160 Americans who went to London to pray are proof. God hears our prayers and I want to hear His voice. Cities are SO beautiful. The nations meet in London. The languages, the cultures, the food – I mean it was a taste of heaven. What does it look like for me to truly live life as if I have received everything and my identity is unshakeable? What does it look like to live in wild abandonment with no anxiety about whether I’m doing it right or doing things quick enough? What does it look like to dream so big that the only way things can happen is if God does it? I was standing in Shoreditch Church, the “Actor’s Church” and I imagined performing my one woman show on the altar/stage place(?). Behind me is that simple beautiful cross and in front of me are people who have never stepped foot in a church. Through my story, these two unlikely subjects are found in the same place and hopefully they can look past my story and see the bigger message that wraps my everything.
Be faithful. Finish well. See the people. Hope conquers.