I want to be okay with where I am right now. I want to trust that where I am right now is exactly where God intends for me to be at.
I feel like a canvas of passions, projects and people, but I can’t see the full painting. I have all these puzzle pieces but I don’t have that cover picture on the box.
I love LA. I miss NY. I love acting and writing. I want to connect diverse people to foster dialogue about difficult things. I work at a restaurant. I’m doing this Oral History Workshop in New York. I’m going to London. But okay, what do all these things mean? What is this life that God has called me to? What!
What does going to London mean? Why at such a time as this? So, I believe in prayer. I believe that God loves the people of London. I believe that God has done, is doing and going to do a great healing in that city. I get excited and feel the privilege of praying with brothers and sisters in one of the greatest cities in the world. Are those things enough? Does that justify this trip for me? Am I lacking faith or being selfish because I want to know how this trip fits into my purposes?
I don’t know.
The London prayer tour is in 2 months. I still have to figure out finances and work scheduling. I am beyond grateful for those who have generously partnered with me. I know that I am not good at receiving love. It’s uncomfortable, but these people love me too much to keep me comfortable. I’m excited to pray. But right now, I’m exhausted.