Squirming in the Receiving

Receiving makes me uncomfortable
I don’t deserve this generosity
Are my intentions even right?
The weight of stewarding this trust overwhelms me
Receiving makes me feel vulnerable
I am clearly in need!
Are you sure I’m worthy of your help?
I invite you into my story, but please don’t judge the mess.

Receiving points me to the first thing I received that completely reimagined my life
God’s grace
Grace of the gospel, of a perfect God who died for broken people
Grace makes no sense to our calculating, rationale hungry, bow-tied wrapped fit-it-in-this-box, human minds
Grace forgives and overflows and heals and loves
Grace for the unworthy
Grace for the needy
I want to receive God’s grace to receive in general
Receive that God is good
Receive that people are good

Thank you to those who force me to receive
Because you care enough to make me squirm
And grow my trust in other people
I don’t have to keep living the lie that I am doing this alone

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